Are children safe in school? 5 warning signs of school bullying that parents must know

How can you help your child if they are being bullied?

If your child or a child you know is being bullied, you may feel angry, upset or confused. We have some tips and advice for you on what you can do to help. First, there should be a shared understanding of what bullying is. You should agree that what is happening is not right and should not continue.

What is bullying?

Bullying is intentional harming of another person. It can include name calling, hitting, shoving, spreading rumors, threatening or defaming someone.

This behaviour can happen anywhere - at school, at home or online. It often goes on for a long time and can cause physical and emotional harm to children.

Signs of bullying

There is no single sign that clearly indicates your child is being bullied, but look out for:

▸ Lost or damaged items

▸ Physical injuries, such as unexplained bruises

▸ Fear of going to school, being unexplained "sick" every morning, or skipping classes

▸ Changes in their behavior at school, including falling grades or not turning in homework

▸ Asking for or stealing money (to give to the bully)

▸ Changes in behavior, including nervousness, loss of confidence, becoming distressed and withdrawn

▸ Changes in eating or sleeping habits

▸ Bullying others.

The effects of bullying

The effects of bullying can last into adulthood. In the worst cases, bullying can push children and teens to self-harm or even commit suicide.

Children who are bullied:

▸ May develop mental health problems, such as depression and anxiety

▸ Fewer friendships

▸ Not being accepted by their peers

▸ Being wary and suspicious of others

▸ Having trouble fitting in at school and not doing well in school.

Popular or successful children can also be bullied, sometimes because others are jealous of them. Sometimes a child's home environment or family life can also be the reason why others bully them.

How to talk to your child about bullying

1 Choose the right time.

Make sure you have your full attention and listen to your child. They may prefer to talk in the car when you are not looking directly at them. Or they may prefer to talk at home. Decide based on how they feel.

2 Listen and comfort.

Stay calm, even if you are upset or angry. Your child may feel scared or embarrassed. You can help them cope with what is happening in the way they think is appropriate.

3 Help them vent their feelings.

Some children like to keep a diary to record their feelings. This can be useful if they are confused or ashamed about what is happening.

If your child is being bullied at school

If your child is being bullied by a classmate at school, you can communicate with the school. It does not matter whether the bullying occurs on campus, outside of school or online. All schools have a responsibility to protect students from bullying.

When you become aware of bullying, the first person to contact should be the class teacher, head teacher, grade director or dormitory counselor.

If your child is being bullied in a sports or activity club, talk to the person in charge.

It is important to work with the school or activity club to effectively resolve the situation.

Arrange a meeting

• Ask for a copy of the school or club's anti-bullying policy, behavior policy and complaints procedure. These may be available on the school or club's website.

• Bring another person to support you if this helps.

• Bring a notebook so you can remember what was said.

• Bring any evidence you have of the bullying. If the bullying happened online, this may include text messages and screenshots.

• Give detailed examples of how the bullying has affected your child.

• Make it clear that you want a response to help resolve the bullying.

• Ask for a copy of the school or club's anti-bullying policy, behavior policy and complaints procedure. You may be able to find these on the school or club's website before the meeting.

• Ask the school what action they will take and make sure everyone agrees with their plan.

• Arrange a date to speak to them again so you can see what progress has been made.

• Identify a point person with whom you can talk to your child about new incidents or upsets.

• Tell the school or club if you think the bullying involves ongoing harassment and intimidation or a hate crime (such as racism or homophobia). If this is the case, the school or club may notify the police.

If the bullying continues

Ask if another meeting can be arranged to discuss what is happening. If this does not resolve the issue, follow the school’s complaints policy and consider writing a complaint letter to the principal.

Continue to document the incidents and provide as much information as possible, including:

• Photos of any injuries or property damage

• The date, location and approximate time of each incident

• Any contact you have had with the school (letters, emails, etc.).

If this does not resolve the issue, advice will vary depending on the type of school your child attends. Regardless of the type of school, it is important to follow their complaints policy.

If your child attends a public school

Write to the chairperson of the school board at the school’s address. If the chairperson’s name is not published on the school’s website, the school office can provide it. Explain the situation and include copies of correspondence between you and the school and any evidence of bullying.

If the bullying is still not being addressed, you can make a formal complaint to the local education authority (LEA) for the location of your child’s school.

If your child attends an independent or private school

Write to the chairperson of the school board. If the chairperson’s name is not published on the school’s website, the school office can provide it to you. Explain the situation and include copies of correspondence between you and the school and any evidence you have about the bullying.

If the bullying continues, you can complain to the Department of Education. The Department of Education will consider the report to ensure your child's safety.